“Fake it till you make it” is an aphorism sometimes used to counteract imposter syndrome – a behavioural condition of doubting one’s own intellect and accomplishment, despite outward displays of high achievement.
Feeling Like a Phony
We’ve all gone about tasks with an air of competence while secret feelings of self-doubt tug at our confidence. We push away the inner dialog that tells us we’re not good enough as we tighten the mask over our phoniness.
Our exterior doesn’t match up with the inside and we fear being found out.
There are two ways in which we perceive ourselves:
- The inner perception of who we are and who we aspire to be.
- The way we think others perceive us from the way we are presenting ourselves to the world.
When we feel we’re not living up to our aspiration or think our outer presentation is falling short, whether true or imagined, we begin feeling like a phoney, so we start lowering the bars of expectation.
For these reasons we might do the following negative things:
- Settle for work that requires less skill than our qualifications
- Refuse to take part in competitions or anything competitive
- Avoid too much mental and physical challenge
- Lie about abilities or achievements that haven’t been accomplished
- Give up easily
- Have constant doubts and compare ourselves with our peers
On the other hand, imposter syndrome may have beneficial effects on some people’s lives. According to research, our perceived shortcomings may push some of us to work harder and more effectively as team players as a way to compensate.
Fake it Till You Make it
By faking it till we make it, we can take all the intrusive negative thoughts from imposter syndrome and use them as a catalyst to attain our goals. But the wording implies a mindset where a persona is created for an end goal or limited timeframe. We want the change to be permanent.
Fake it Till You Become it
A key lesson by social psychologist Dr. Amy Cuddy is “fake it till you become it”.
Dr. Cuddy’s 2012 TedTalk, Your body language may shape who you are is ranked second most watched TedTalk of all time even 12 years on. Her message has obviously resonated deeply with a wide audience.
Part of her research involved Dr. Cuddy and her team looking, not only at how we perceive non-verbal language (body language) from others, but how this effects our perception of ourselves.
Dr. Cuddy’s research suggests “power posing” can reprogram how our brain thinks and give us more confidence, not only within ourselves, but in the way others perceive us. This leads to more successful outcomes. For example, when being interviewed for a job, or to counteract the bullet points listed above.
One of the power poses has been dubbed the “Wonder Woman pose” where you stand feet apart with hands on hips. And we all know Wonder Woman is not to be reckoned with!
Faking it to Overcome my Bullies
When I started the 7th grade in a new school, I was bullied by kids who had never been to school with an Asian looking kid before. They would come up close and call me racial slurs or make slanty eyes at me. I would avoid confrontation, trying to make myself invisible. I didn’t like this situation and I wanted it to stop. I mulled it over until I realised, they were doing it because they thought I was weak. I started walking as tall as the second shortest girl in my grade could. I kept my back straight and held my head up. When the bullies came up and called me ching chong I looked them dead in the eyes and said, “Yeah, that’s what I am. So?” Those kids didn’t know what to say but they saw my don’t-f-with-me attitude and quickly stopped bullying me. Even I was amazed at the effectiveness of this.
Whenever I’m feeling self-conscious or my self-esteem has taken a hit, I think about my anti-bullying tactic and remember to keep walking tall.
Before a job interview, I rehearse in my head how I will confidently greet the interviewers, ready to show a balance of confidence and ease with my body language. I walk out feeling like I’ve represented myself well and I have rarely been rejected for a job.
I don’t believe we can completely eliminate imposter syndrome from our lives, but we can certainly keep trying.
Featured image by Freepik
